Here are some one liners...
Aaron Burr's Texas Conspiracy -- He tries to buy 1/4th of Texas and people are wondering why. It can't be because he loves farming.
Europe is in the Hands of Napoleon -- Napoleon declares a continent-wide embargo of British goods. It won't work.
In Other News -- Colgate opens for business, Andrew Jackson shoots a man, and US route 40 is authorized.
Aaron Burr's Texas ConspiracySome call it treason. Rumors that the Vice-President of the United States is conspiring with the British to start his own country in the Southwest has spurred Thomas Jefferson to have his own VP arrested. What is his evidence? Nothing firm. A letter from one of Burr's associates and a few witnesses who attest to certain things Burr has said previously. The House of Representatives impeaches him on the charge of conspiracy to send an army against Spain and outright treason. His case goes to the Senate for trial. The support from amongst his fellow Federalists is weak. Chief Justice John Marshall will keep Aaron Burr's neck out of the hangman's noose because he will note that a charge of treason requires that a person take some action, and Burr took no action. He just talked... to the British... about stuff that might be construed as disloyalty to the United States and a violation of his oath of office, but not treason... exactly. You see... he was trying to buy land in Texas... just a farm, you see. Since Texas is in Spanish territory, he had to negotiate with a foreign government and yes, he made some friendly suggestions to the British about positioning their army in the Southwest, but nothing was firm... yet. Burr is acquitted but he is finished. No one wants to know him any more. He leaves for Europe, but he will return in a few years under an assumed name and open a law practice.  
Europe is in the Hands of NapoleonThe Emperor of Austria, Francis the 1st, has capitulated to Napoleon. Emperor Francis abdicates his throne of the Holy Roman Empire, but it really doesn't matter any more. The Holy Roman Empire has been dead for a long time now. Francis marries off his daughter to Napoleon since he needs an heir. Napoleon divorces Josephine and she is very unhappy but in the end, she understands. Napoleon organizes the various German provinces into the Confederation of the Rhine, and he declares a Continental-wide embargo of British trade.  
In Other News
- Andrew Jackson kills a man in a duel. Jackson's wife, Rachel is hot, hot, hot! Apparently this guy said something unseemly to her. 
- US Route 40 is authorized by Thomas Jefferson. It's going to take a while to build. Right now it is called the Cumberland Road. later it will be a longer National Road and then US Route 40. Catchy name.