Here are some one liners...
Sir Francis Bacon is Killed by a Chicken -- Well... that's an exaggeration. He was experimenting with freezing a chicken. He got pneumonia or something and died. I talk about cold and what people of the 17th century thought cold was.
The Dutch Buy the Deed to Manhattan! Why Are You Laughing? -- The $24 dollar thing was a bit of a myth. It is an estimate in 1898 dollars but people keep repeating it. I also talk about the ethical problem of buying and selling between people who have different ethical values.
The New Saint Peter's Basilica - It's been rebuilt. The other one was falling down. Presumably, Saint Peter is still there, though.
Sir Francis Bacon is Killed by a ChickenActually, it was a raw chicken stuffed with snow. Let me explain. Sir Francis Bacon, the greatest intellect of his time, had been forced to retire to his estate after being impeached by Parliament for taking bribes. Was he guilty? In modern terms, you better believe it, but in the standards of his day, not so much. He later repented his deeds and in his retirement he took up experimentation. In this experiment he wanted to find out if raw chicken deteriorated more slowly if it was cold. (For those waiting on the edge of your seat, the answer is yes.) He bought a raw chicken from the market, walked out into the cold and stuffed its innards with snow. Unfortunately, the exposure to the wet and cold brought on some difficulty in breathing and he died in bed in the home of Lord Arundel. He was 65 years old. 
The Dutch Buy the Deed to Manhattan! Why Are You Laughing?The initial attempts by the Director-General of New Netherland to colonize Manhattan fails when some of the colonists join an Indian war between rival tribes. Several colonists are killed and one man is eaten... just a leg and an arm. Even though the Director-General had nothing to do with it, he is arrested and replaced by Peter Minuit. The new Director-General begins his negotiations with the local tribes. He has written instructions to not give offense but to persuade the Indians to make a deal for the entire Island of Manhattan which is about 22,000 acres. After turning over trinkets and blankets worth 60 guilders or $24 dollars (in 1898 dollars), the Director-General believes that he is now in possession of Manhattan. The actual deal he makes is lost to posterity, but he makes a similar deal for the purchase of Staten Island this year and a copy of that agreement has survived. He bought Staten Island for what we might call "junk" but the Indians are still in the Stone Age. For them, a metal drill is more valuable than gold.   
The New Saint Peter's BasilicaQuick note: St. Peter's Basilica has been rebuilt and it is dedicated this year. Yes. It's the same one that you can visit today, but it is not the original from the 4th century. That building was collapsing. They kept the altar and a few other critical features... like Saint Peter, himself, for example. 
This Year on Wikipedia
Year 1626, Wikipedia.