Here are some one liners...
William the Silent is Silenced -- The leader of the Dutch Revolt is assassinated by a lawyer, making him the first official to be assassinated by a handgun. I talk a little bit about the wisdom of listening more than speaking.
Was It Really Worth 'Flipping Off' the Czar of Russia? -- Ivan the Terrible dies, leaving the governing of Russia to his idiot son, and his son's idiot regent. This regent will make so many people angry that in the 1960's someone will go to the trouble to mock him on a famous cartoon show for kids.
The Lost Colony of Virginia, the Mystery Begins -- Sir Walter Raleigh manages to fund a colony on Roanoke Island in the New World. It is seriously underfund, though, and when a rescue expedition shows up years later, it's a ghost town.
William the Silent is SilencedWilliam the Silent has the dubious distinction of being the 1st government official in history to be assassinated by handgun. William has been leading the Dutch Revolt against the Spaniards and doing reasonably well despite setbacks, so the King of Spain has had a contract out on him. A lawyer steps forward to do the deed. He asks for no reward other than to have his family taken care of should he succeed and die. This is an easy promise for the King to make since he has no confidence that the lawyer will succeed. The lawyer approaches William dressed as a beggar, pulls a wheel-lock handgun from under his cloak and fires. William the Silent is no more. His last words are...
- My God, have pity on my soul; my God, have pity on this poor people.